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edit: PLEASE READ this small section before trying to send a message.
Putting this here at the very top of the longer description I wrote, so that it is abundantly clear for those who don't take the time to read profiles:
Do not message me if your intention is to be sexual out of the gate. I am not on this app looking for casual sex, or casual online sexy talk. If you want to know where I stand regarding sex, then read the description below.
I am not wanting to find a submissive partner.
I am only open to monogamy, out of my own personal preference. Do not message me if you are married or otherwise attached romantically or sexually, regardless of your partner's awareness or lack thereof of your search for another partner.
I am open to making completely platonic friendships here, but you must be honest with yourself and me.
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I'm looking firstly for a connection, to maybe find someone on my wavelength, and to then see what develops from there. Having a relationship with the person as a human being, feeling as if I would want that person in my life regardless of whether sex or kink of any kind are on the table is always first and foremost for me.
The dating scene is tricky enough, but when kink and certain kind of dynamic is also important for you in a relationship, it becomes trickier. I'm here so that I can be as transparent as possible about my desires, instead of trying to encode it on the usual dating sites to avoid scandalized reactions, hoping I get lucky and someone has actuallly decided to read the profile carefully, knows what it means, and is interested.
Eventually I hope to find a D/s relationship which includes elements of power exchange, to be decided depending on what we both want and need, of course, since every situation is different. I will say that I would like to have my partner in the "master" role, but I am not looking for the kind of TPE in which I follow high protocol, am at every moment of my day expected to drop what I'm doing immediately to answer my dominant, as I have my own goals, passions, other relationships and daily responsibilities; as overwhelming as those can be sometimes (such is life), I highly value them, so they are non-negotiable. I would like to meet someone who enjoys being the master in the relationship and wishes to be a guide, while allowing me the room to pursue and achieve goals for myself.
I've listed "masochist" as one of my roles, because I enjoy ***-play, and so I would like to find someone who is a sadist, therefore enjoys ***-play as well, from the other side of it. I've found it fascinating, diving into the various ways people relate with that word. For me specifically, that term applies out of a deep desire for submission; that is, I may not necessarily enjoy all ***/highly uncomfortable sensations in the sense that I can directly translate the sensation to pleasure, but I do enjoy some types of impact play, wax play, etc, to a certain point. I am glad to discuss this more once we've gotten to know one another.
Most sensations related to *** play I will say I'm into trying first with a partner are those I've tried by myself, to test what they feel like, out of curiosity. I have not yet played/tried *** play or D/s dynamics with a partner. In that way, you could say I'm a newcomer to the scene, though I've gone to a few events, and done quite a bit of research, to have an idea of what I am/am not looking for.
I'd like to mention also that I have no interest in being in a polyamorous relationship, and that I am not looking for casual physical encounters, including sex or play scenes with someone I don't know well.
If you've read this far...thank you! What follows is a general description of non-BDSM related hobbies and interests...what I like to do with my time outside of kink.
I like to get coffee and walk around town aimlessly, talking about everything or nothing. I like taking long walks in nature, and have a passion for wildlife and nature conservation.
I like sitting around drinking said coffee or tea and reading, especially in the company of a good companion. I think some of the best moments are spent sitting in silence with someone you're comfortable with. Sometimes just enjoying time together is enough.
I like all kinds of music with the exception of modern/pop country.
I like learning languages and the culture and history of a country, and I hope to travel around Europe someday. I've been out of the country only once, so far. I speak a little French, and less Japanese, though I'm much better at reading them than speaking.
I have a full time job, in addition to currently working on a Bachelors degree. I'm a returning student after dropping out years ago.
I also have a dog, so if you are allergic or uncomfortable with them, we may not be a good fit for one another.
To give an outline of the sort of role I am looking to fill, the sort of relationship and person I would like to have in my life:
I am looking for someone to call "Master", but not in the sense that I am a slave, my desires and aspirations in life dismissed or secondary. More in the sense that he is the person I look up to most; my romantic and sexual partner, and someone whose lead I wish to follow and learn from. "Master", in the sense that we've mutually decided I'm tied to him, in the sense that he is a teacher and a guide, who can help me grow into the best version of myself, while I serve him and help him to meet his goals.
This person would also be someone whose priorities and aspirations are closely aligned with my own, so that we make a great team. I would follow his orders because I believe his judgement to be sound, because I want to see him succeed in his endeavors, and because, like all people, I have the desire to be seen as worthy in the eyes of one I hold in such esteem.
I would want to be in all aspects his equal, with the exception that I have things to learn that he is happy to teach, and that my chosen, and treasured role, one I earn by merit, is his "right-hand", his "sharpest blade", when it comes to getting things done.
I'd want to help him with his work, while being free to continue pursuing mastership of the skills I choose to hone, skills which are a boon to his work, as well. I have a great desire to achieve excellence in specific skills I've acquired, and I want to be with someone who delights in that pursuit, someone who wants to support and encourage it, while providing accurate feedback on the quality and progress as I go along. Perfection is not achievable, but there is so much value in the attempt to achieve high levels of quality and skill, regardless.
I am looking for someone for whom his sense of integrity and values take priority over image and status. I want to find someone who values empathy, compassion, rationality, connection and love as much as he values determination and ambition. I would not want to be with someone who values wealth and/or the appearance of status and power due to acquired wealth and/or admiration of others over actual skill, integrity, and morality.
I would want to be his confidant, an occasional trusted advisor on matters in which my knowledge and/or perspective is helpful, as well as the warm place he can come home to for rest, for levity and respite when he needs it; and I would want him to fulfill that role for me, as well. I would want him to belong to me, in this sense, as much as I belong to him. I want to be his best friend and his partner, in life and in his work, in addition to being officially his student and subordinate.
I am looking for someone who would not see sex as an expectation from me, but rather a gift we share with one another, a sign of our great respect, our admiration and passion for one another, regardless of the roles we fulfill, or the play we engage in.
I'm hoping to find someone for whom sex with me is as sacred an act as it is to me. That's not to say sex would always be a serious, ritualistic matter, by any means. I believe light, playful, casual sexual acts for fun are part of a healthy relationship that involves sex in the first place. Rather, I would not be comfortable being in a relationship where there is expectation that teasing or play automatically results in sex or sexual acts, or that the dynamic we enjoy and roles we fill are only to facilitate sexual arousal.
I find a deep sense of joy and fulfillment in finding someone for whom I can fulfill such a role professionally, and such a need, personally, and so this is the type of relationship I desire to have in my life.
